Rinse
by Yuriko Tsukino
Summary: Robin and Amon think of each other, around eppisode 14. Song in second chapter is "bloody valentine" by Good charlotte. COMPLETE
1. Rinse

A/N: My first WHR fanfic. I actually forgot I'd written it, and just found it on my computer. I hope you guys don't think it's too terrible.

Unfortunately, I don't own WHR. And Rinse is a Vanessa Carlton song. Be glad it's not one of mine. When I sing, all three of my dogs leave the room.

Oh. And this fic takes place while Robin and Amon were driving to that warehouse in eppie 14.

Rinse

By Yuriko Tsukino

she'd do anything to sparkle in his eye  
she would suffer, she would fight, and compromise  
she's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright  
for answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight

His jaw line was so straight, so strong. Her fingers itched to touch the stubble on his chin. His bangs fell across his left eye, the only one she could see from this angle, obscuring it from view. Those gorgeous grey eyes. She loved everything about him; the curve of his ears, his angular profile, the arch of his eye brows. She loved the way he was so steady, unmoving in an ever changing world. She didn't even mind the way he spoke to her. The way he could be so harsh. Somehow, deep down, she knew that it wasn't meant to sound as cruel as it did. 

she must rinse this all away  
she can't hold him this way  
she must rinse this all away  
she can't love him this way

Robin turned away suddenly. She was staring again. She clenched her hands in her lap. She shouldn't be doing this. Shouldn't care this way. There were a thousand reasons why. One. She was raised as a nun. She wasn't supposed to have these kinds of feelings for anyone. Two. He was her partner. It was supposed to be a strict, business-only relationship. Three. Amon was twenty-five; ten years her senior. She was a child to him. Not to mention the fact that it was probably illegal. Four. Amon didn't love anyone, so far as she could see. Didn't care for anyone. Five. He was a hunter; so was she, for the time being. But she was also a craft user. His last partner had been a craft user. She had been hunted; killed. What if the same happened to her? What if Amon was the one that was supposed to hunt her? 

how she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see  
she needs to be held in his arms to be free  
but everything happens for reasons that she will never understand  
'til she knows the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man

There was only one problem. Her heart didn't know the meaning of "supposed to." It knew only what it felt. And it wanted more than anything to reach out to him, to love him openly and be loved in return. Was that really so much to ask? If only she could say what she felt without risking everything. If she told him how she felt, the overwhelming possibility was that he would reject her. He wouldn't trust her after that; of this, Robin was sure. She would be even more childlike in his eyes. A stupid child. One that would be a liability on a hunt. One that he wouldn't want to be around at all.

and if she runs away she fears she won't be followed  
what could be the worse than leaving something behind  
and as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow  
it's loneliness she finds...  
if only he was mine

If only she had someone to confide in. Most girls her age had best friends that they whispered secrets to; they stayed up until all hours of the night, giggling, planning ways to be noticed by the boys they liked.

But Robin had never been the type to confide in anyone. She had no best friend, and she stayed up until all hours of the night hunting her own kind, and trying not to stare or dream about the man beside her.

she'd do anything to sparkle in his eye  
she would suffer, she would fight, and compromise  
she's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright  
for answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight

If only there was _some_ way that she could show him she cared, without making a fool of herself. If only there was some way that he could _possibly _feel the same.

Robin fought back a sigh. She should find something else to think about. Anything. The hunt. Yes.

The image of Amon pointing his orbo gun at her flashed through her mind. She squeezed her eyes shut.

she must rinse him  
she must rinse him  
she can't rinse him  
she can't rinse him  
she can't, she won't, she must rinse him  
she can't, she won't, she must rinse him  
she must rinse this all away  
she can't hold him this way  
she must rinse this all away  
she can't love him this way

"Are you alright?" Amon asked. He pulled over, putting his car in park.

"Uh-" Robin nodded, her head snapping up quickly. She needed to stop feeling and start thinking. They were at the warehouse where they were supposed to find the witch. She needed to be extra careful now; they were the only ones on this mission, and the warehouse was large.

Amon opened his door, climbing out, and cautiously approached the metal door of the warehouse. Robin followed his lead. He glanced back at her, to make sure she was ready, then opened the door.


	2. Bloody Valentine

Oh, my love  
Please don't cry  
I'll wash my bloody hands and  
We'll start a new life

_She's so...pure..._

_NO. _

He couldn't start down that train of thought. Not now. Especially not now. Not with his mission.

Amon jerked the wheel of his car forcefully. _Pay attention. You're going to get yourself killed if you keep this up,_ he repremanded himself. He needed to come to a decsion. Fast. And getting into a car accident wasn't going to help him in the least. 

I ripped out  
His throat  
And called you on the telephone  
To take off  
My disguise  
Just in time to hear you cry when you...

It had all seemed so clear cut at first. Do your job. Go home. Come back tomorrow and do it again.

Then she had shown up. She had thrown his world off kilter from the first. She was going to destroy him. That woman--no. She was still a little girl--with her strange pigtails and solemn face. With her kind heart. She didn't even realize how difficult she was making things for him. He wouldn't be able to hide it much longer.

At least he had never seen her truly smile. Just imagining it made it hard for him to breath. As long as she stayed impassive...

You mourn the death of your bloody valentine  
The night he died  
You mourn the death of your bloody valentine  
One last time

But really, what business did a fifteen year old have being so quiet? So reserved? So nearly emotionless? The only time she had ever shown any expression...that tear...She had cried for her victim, but they still branded her as a target. Why did he have to be the one to hunt her? Why couldn't they have chosen someone with less resolve? Someone who hadn't already been nearly wiped of their humanity? Because there was no choice. He would have to kill her. Those were his orders.

Singin'...

Amon pulled into the parking lot of his apartment. He wouldn't think about this. He wouldn't. He would have to reduce her to just another target if he wanted to get this done. There was no choice.

He pulled off his trench coat, tossing it onto the sofa, then collapsed next to it, massaging his temples. Why did she always make him feel drained? Just being near her was exhausting. The strain of hiding the internal war; searching carefully for words that could not be taken as kindness before he spoke; It was so hard to treat her the way he was supposed to when all he wanted to do was...

No. Better not to finish that thought.

Oh, my love  
Please don't cry  
I'll wash my bloody hands and  
We'll start a new life  
I don't know much at all  
I don't know wrong from right  
All I know is that I love you tonight

_But I want to finish it._ He thought desperately.

_But if you think about it, you'll want to act on it. And you won't do your job._

_Screw my job!_ shouted the part of his mind that was forever growing stronger. The part of him that was _regaining_ the humanity he had buried after so many years with STN-J.

His head was beginning to pound. Wearily, he rose and went out onto the balcony. Maybe some fresh air would help.

Across the street, he saw a blond figure on the balcony across from his own. She was too far away for him to see her face, and in the shadows, he doubted she knew it was him, but he knew.

They had put her with Touko for a reason. Touko had the apartment directly across from his own. He was supposed to watch her. Nearby, but not so near that she would know. So that he could eliminate her before she did as much damage as Kate.

There was  
Police and  
Flashing lights  
The rain came down so hard that night and the  
Headlines read  
A lover died  
No tell-tale heart was left to find when you...

But Robin had cried after she killed that man. Kate had shown no remorse. The differences between them were evident; why was he the only one that seemed to notice?

Frustrated, Amon sat down on the concrete, leaning back against the glass door of his apartment. He watched, mesmerized, as Robin's hair fluttered in the wind. If he had wanted, he could have shot her from here. Killed her. Sent a shot straight into her heart or brain. It would be more humane for him to do it than to wait and let Solomon take care of it. At least he could be sure she wouldn't feel pain.

But he would. He would know the pain. He would know it well. He was already on intimate terms with it from his mental conversations concerning her. 

You mourn the death of your bloody valentine  
The night he died  
You mourn the death of your bloody valentine  
One last time

He was running out of time. Zaizen would expect action from him as early as tomorrow. And what could he do?

Amon glanced again at the figure across the street. He couldn't kill her. He couldn't...

_I want to protect her. Keep her safe. Especially from me._

Amon ran his fingers through is hair, loosing himself temporarily in the thoughts he had been trying to bury.

Singin'...

_He ran the tips of his calloused fingers down her soft cheek, tucking that stuborn lock of her bangs behind her ear. She looked up at him, her green eyes unsure, but trusting. _

_One hand was resting on her waist. He used it to pull her closer, tilting her head a little further upwards with the other. He leaned down, giving her the most gentle kiss he could. Even after working with her for two months, she still seemed so fragile; like if he pulled her too close, held her too tight, kissed her too hard, she would break in his arms. _

_He swallowed, tying to get his vocal chords to work. He was going to tell her now how he felt. It felt like he had been holding this in forever..._

Oh, my love  
Please don't cry  
I'll wash my bloody hands and  
We'll start a new life  
I don't know much at all  
I don't know wrong from right  
All I know is that I love you tonight

The wind changed suddenly, blowing chill air down his neck. Jolted out of his daydream, Amon shook his head. That image was so much more inviting than the one that had haunted him all afternoon. The one of Robin, cowering in front of him, her green eyes wide with terror, unable to defend herself, and him, pulling the trigger; injecting orbo into her frail looking body. Her, being carried into a Factory van, never to be seen again. And the way she had looked at him earlier. After the failed "mission." He could see the hurt she tried so hard to hide. It took everything he had in him to not confess right then that he had been the one shooting after her. That he was supposed to kill her.

He couldn't do it. He wouldn't.

Tonight

Was it possible to kill the part of himself that was without feeling? The part telling him to do the job and get it over with quickly, even though his stomach turned at the thought?

Standing, Amon knew what his next target was. It wouldn't be Robin. It would never be Robin. It would be himself. He would protect her from himself. For once in his life, he would listen to himself and not the voices in his head demanding that he do as he should and not as he felt. 

He dropped you off, I followed him home  
Then I, I stood outside his bedroom window  
Standing over him, he begged me not to do  
What I knew I had to do cause I'm so in love with you

The next day

His time to act came much quicker than he would have liked. The attack on the office. He wouldn't have expected that of Solomon, which was probably why they did it. He had the distinct feeling that they didn't trust him after the failed attack on Robin's apartment. But did they suspect that he had deliberately ignored his orders? Or did they just think he was being the arrogant jerk that the rest of the world thought he was?

Amon grabbed Robin's wrist, leading her down the final flight of stairs. He could hear the attackers on the floor above, pounding down the stairs and blasting open the doors. He needed to get her out quickly.

He pulled open the final door, which lead into the courtyard.

"Robin, do you think you can burn a hole through that wall?"

She nodded, setting to the task at hand while he opened the secret passage in the well. The sound of crumbling stone told him when she was done.

"Amon...Why are you doing this?"

He hesitated. Should he tell her? "I...was ordered not to interfere with their hunt for you," he said. "I was even ordered to kill you." He nearly choked on the words. She would never trust him now. Any chance--however slim--he had ever had of her loving him was gone with that confession. "But I couldn't do it. I could never hurt you."

He looked up, and their eyes met. "Does this mean that...all this time...you trusted me as a friend?" she asked.

"Yes." It was hardly a whisper, but it was all he could manage. Did that mean she didn't hate him?

Pounding footsteps sounded from the corridor they had left. Robin ran to him, grabbing his arm. "Let's go! We've got to--"

"This way!" He pulled her to the well and helped her climb inside. He dropped down beside her. Reaching foreword, he slipped his brother's address into her hair. "Go to this place. I'll find you there."

Tears began to well up in Robins eyes as she realized what he was saying. She grabbed at his jacket, trying to hold him in place.

Their faces were a bare inch apart. Quickly, he leaned down, closing the distance, and kissed her. It wasn't like the kiss in his daydream. It was rushed and fierce and passionate. But it was the best he could do at the moment.

"I'll find you," he said again, pulling away quickly. He pressed the button that sent the floor of the well back upwards as the sound of Robin crying after him echoed through the underground tunnel. She threw herself at his feet, trying to reach the mechanism that would make it stop.

"Amon! Amon--!"

Oh, my love  
Please don't cry  
I'll wash my bloody hands and  
We'll start a new life  
I don't know much at all  
I don't know wrong from right  
All I know is that I love you tonight  
Tonight

_Is it over?_ Amon wondered. It seemed to be. He collapsed against the well, his blood covered hands slipping on the stone. All around him were bodies. There had to be a dozen of them. The floor of the courtyard was hidden beneath a three inch layer of blood.

Amon looked down at his hands. ..._It's not like I've never killed before..._he thought. _And this time...I think the cause was better._

Pulling himself to his feet, he reached for the button to open the well. More of them would come, and soon. And it would be better if the rest of the team didn't know what had happened. They couldn't be forced to tell what they didn't know.

Amon dropped down the opening, closing it behind him.


End file.
